I am absolutely unreasonably happy that it's exam time. I mean, yeah exams are harsh, but just think of all the extra sleep I'm going to get! (Yeah, I need a priority check.)
Still liking (G)1, "officially" liking (G)3, and pretty much over (G)2. Joy.
And yes, (F)2 knows. We've agreed (G)3 is hers, which gives me ample of opportunity for intense teasing >=) We've also agreed we've stalked him as much as possible through the computer, and must now try to actually properly befriend him and see what his personality is really like.
Random side note: the school he came from has quite a few good looking guys. I wish I went there =(
I came on here sort of expecting to write a long rant ... didn't happen. Obviously.
Another quote:
"Everyone deserves the chance to fly."
Life is fair in only one regard: we were all born. Our chances were the same at that instant, and from then on, it's up to us.
xoxo,
burningdarkfire
1.25.2010
1.19.2010
Procrastinator at Heart
Yeah, it's past midnight, I have school the next day, and I'm typing up an entry for my blog that no one reads. I'm insane. On the bright side, almost all of my homework is done!
So. (G)1 was being very sweet today. Which means ... yeah, you got it. I like (G)1. Unfortunatly, I still like (G)2. And while (G)1 was trying to convince me to tell him who I liked, I ended up telling him that I liked (G)3 (which, btw, I DON'T) and now it's all been screwed up. I don't want (G)1 to know I like him, obviously, but I don't want him to think I like (G)3 either. While talking about this, (F)2 came up in the conversation and (G)1, who is one of the relatively few people I talk to that doesn't talk to (F)2, now knows her history with (G)3 too. Ugh.
Maybe life will be a little less tangled in the morning ... when the sun's actually up and people are actually awake.
On another hand, I've got another sleepover with (F)10 planned this weekend! Huzzah! =)
On the gripping hand, exams are coming up, oh noo!
On the fourth hand, I have quite a few social activities planned during my free time during exam week. Another huzzah!
Something else to think about:
"Is it better to always come in last or to never play?"
The "right" answer to this is to always come in last - but really, what's the point of playing if you're forever losing? Might as well find something you're good at instead.
xoxo,
burningdarkfire
So. (G)1 was being very sweet today. Which means ... yeah, you got it. I like (G)1. Unfortunatly, I still like (G)2. And while (G)1 was trying to convince me to tell him who I liked, I ended up telling him that I liked (G)3 (which, btw, I DON'T) and now it's all been screwed up. I don't want (G)1 to know I like him, obviously, but I don't want him to think I like (G)3 either. While talking about this, (F)2 came up in the conversation and (G)1, who is one of the relatively few people I talk to that doesn't talk to (F)2, now knows her history with (G)3 too. Ugh.
Maybe life will be a little less tangled in the morning ... when the sun's actually up and people are actually awake.
On another hand, I've got another sleepover with (F)10 planned this weekend! Huzzah! =)
On the gripping hand, exams are coming up, oh noo!
On the fourth hand, I have quite a few social activities planned during my free time during exam week. Another huzzah!
Something else to think about:
"Is it better to always come in last or to never play?"
The "right" answer to this is to always come in last - but really, what's the point of playing if you're forever losing? Might as well find something you're good at instead.
xoxo,
burningdarkfire
1.17.2010
Even the Stars Are Hidden By Clouds
The streetlight in front of my house has sadly been repaired =( I say sadly because now the street seems that much harsher, the night seems that much less magical, and the stars seems that much less beautiful. Ugh.
So, yeah, haven't been on here in a while ... oh, well.
Guess what I've decided to talk about today?
Yeah, guys.
I'm so obsessed >.>
As I was explaining to a fairly new (but good!) friend, (F)2, how my crushes work:
So as you might imagine, I was pretty ecstatic.
Yeah, that lasted a long time. Not. He dumped me 2 days later, and I guiltily admit I did a bit of pleading. My pride really took a blow that night. Anyway, I'm over that now, but sadly not over him. I've gotten to the point where I've realized that we're never going to go back to the way we were before, when we really were happy and could trust each and all that other good stuff. We've worked our way back from the lowest point on the graph (when I probably annoyed the hell out of him by always trying to talk to him so we could be the way we used to) to a decent level again, when sometimes he starts of conversation instead of always me, and when we can talk about some semi important things again. The last time we approached the subject of how we felt about each other (December sometime), he correctly assumed I still liked him, but it hasn't come up since.
In September, when we first started talking again, the little box on facebook under his profile picture was filled with happy love song lyrics. About 2 weeks later, they changed to depressed/angry short sentences. About 2 weeks ago, they changed back to happy love song lyrics, and recently changed to something more moderate - not really happy, not really angry, just ... there (I think it may be something he wrote himself, although I'm not sure). I can't really decide what to think about that.
Once again, back in September, I found out he "loved" this girl named Bailey (yeah, I'm using her name, since I don't personally know her anyway). He had liked her since at least June, although I'm not sure exactly how long, I just know some of his stories about her included a school dance. She was the reason for quite a few depressing late night talks, she was the reason he stopped believing in love - and the reason he started believing again too. She is to him the way he is to me now, just someone we can't get over. He plans to redeclare his love for her on her birthday, May 18th. I plan to be there when she shoots him down (not that I'm sure she will, but you know ... ).
I've come to accept that he's just not into me, and that we might not ever get that closeness we had back again (apparently he doesn't trust me anymore. When did that happen?! =S), but I want him to always know I'll be there for him, even if I truly don't like him anymore, he'll always have a place in my heart as one of those so very few special guys.
I miss his poetry, though.
I guess I also miss being wanted, and being important *cues flashback about text about how I'm the most important person in his life*
Yeah.
* confession session was spurned by a deal with my BFF - if I told him how I felt, she would take harmony classes with me
Let's have a change of topic! Yeah, I know this is a pretty long post.
Pen-spinning news: I can now the thumbaround, a slow but steady fingerpass, this random flick thing that I'm not if it has a name or not, and sometimes I can manage a sort of fail charge with my index and middle fingers.
(G)1 is the only person I've ever met with green, green, greeeeen eyes. He has those eyes that sort of change color depending on what he wears, and lashes that I'm jealous of. Our friendship almost disappeared when I become really close with (G)6, 7, but it's now back and stronger than ever. I laugh at his jokes, and in return I get to poke at his ego. Funfunfun =) I think I may come to like like him again in time ... we'll see ;)
Heyyy guess what? One of my poems is going to be published in an anthropology! Yay for poetry contests, and the nights spent trying to come up with decent poems (the one that I ended up submitting and is getting published was one I wrote in slightly under an hour, go figure -.-')!
A new favourite thing of mine? Sleepovers with (F)10, my cousin and one of my best buddies =) Sleepovers with her are always guaranteed to be fun and gossip-filled (I'm a big fan of telling her stories about people from my old school), but due to exams/summatives we've skipped a couple T.T
As for "re-inventing" myself at a new school, I think I've done it decently. I've gotten rid of my old reputation of being rather demanding, hostile, and unapproachable (at least, I think), gotten rid of my status as "that girl who might be talked into doing your homework for you", and become a nicer person.
Social status, I'm still hanging out more at the fringe than at the center, I'm friends with people from all circles, but mostly I stick to the non-overachieving asian giftie circle ^^
Lately, I've been sleeping less and thinking more. I'm not sure if this is good or not ...
Let's introduce someone new, (G)3 (conveniently (G)1's best friend). He's a hottie - and gifted, too. I liked him very briefly at the beginning of the school year, but I never really got to know him that well. Right before the Christmas break, news got out that (F)2 liked someone! I guessed pretty quickly who it was (yupp, (G)3) and pretty soon (though details are a bit muddied), pretty everyone that (F)2 interacted with daily and willfully knew who she liked, except for (G)3 (I think he didn't pry simply because he was afraid it was him). Then the last day of school before break passed without any incidents, and (F)2 let out a big breath, only to find out that (F)11, a good friend of (G)3's from before, had had a gettogether that night and had told him that (F)2 liked him (apparently he has an adorable blush, btw). Luckily for both of them, winter break was here and by the time we got back, most people had forgotten about the excitment. She still likes him though, and since I was one of the very few that cared enough to keep on bugging her about him, she stalks (lightly, of course (noooo sarcasm there)) him with my help. Since I've started this "research", I've come to think that he's someone else I may come to like - but for now, he's all hers.
I've also built up a reputation as a good "researcher". XD
Just something to think about tonight before you go to sleep:
"Stand up for what you believe in, even if you stand alone."
But if you're standing alone, then maybe you should reconsider why you believe only you are right.
xoxo,
burningdarkfire
So, yeah, haven't been on here in a while ... oh, well.
Guess what I've decided to talk about today?
Yeah, guys.
I'm so obsessed >.>
As I was explaining to a fairly new (but good!) friend, (F)2, how my crushes work:
- If I like someone for their looks, I fall quickly. These tend to come and go, usually not lasting longer than a week or two. These are boys I come back to when I'm bored and need someone to obsess over for a bit, or if I need help getting over someone from the next category
- If I like someone for their personality, I fall slowly. I've only ever liked 3, sort of 4, guys for their personality (believe me, the list of guys from the first category is much longer). These guys I am actually infatuated with (don't believe in love!) and these tend to last longer than a year, mostly because I say I don't like him anymore (and I turn my attention to a guy from category one in an attempt to forget), then I realize I really do and come all the way back around the circle again.
So as you might imagine, I was pretty ecstatic.
Yeah, that lasted a long time. Not. He dumped me 2 days later, and I guiltily admit I did a bit of pleading. My pride really took a blow that night. Anyway, I'm over that now, but sadly not over him. I've gotten to the point where I've realized that we're never going to go back to the way we were before, when we really were happy and could trust each and all that other good stuff. We've worked our way back from the lowest point on the graph (when I probably annoyed the hell out of him by always trying to talk to him so we could be the way we used to) to a decent level again, when sometimes he starts of conversation instead of always me, and when we can talk about some semi important things again. The last time we approached the subject of how we felt about each other (December sometime), he correctly assumed I still liked him, but it hasn't come up since.
In September, when we first started talking again, the little box on facebook under his profile picture was filled with happy love song lyrics. About 2 weeks later, they changed to depressed/angry short sentences. About 2 weeks ago, they changed back to happy love song lyrics, and recently changed to something more moderate - not really happy, not really angry, just ... there (I think it may be something he wrote himself, although I'm not sure). I can't really decide what to think about that.
Once again, back in September, I found out he "loved" this girl named Bailey (yeah, I'm using her name, since I don't personally know her anyway). He had liked her since at least June, although I'm not sure exactly how long, I just know some of his stories about her included a school dance. She was the reason for quite a few depressing late night talks, she was the reason he stopped believing in love - and the reason he started believing again too. She is to him the way he is to me now, just someone we can't get over. He plans to redeclare his love for her on her birthday, May 18th. I plan to be there when she shoots him down (not that I'm sure she will, but you know ... ).
I've come to accept that he's just not into me, and that we might not ever get that closeness we had back again (apparently he doesn't trust me anymore. When did that happen?! =S), but I want him to always know I'll be there for him, even if I truly don't like him anymore, he'll always have a place in my heart as one of those so very few special guys.
I miss his poetry, though.
I guess I also miss being wanted, and being important *cues flashback about text about how I'm the most important person in his life*
Yeah.
* confession session was spurned by a deal with my BFF - if I told him how I felt, she would take harmony classes with me
Let's have a change of topic! Yeah, I know this is a pretty long post.
Pen-spinning news: I can now the thumbaround, a slow but steady fingerpass, this random flick thing that I'm not if it has a name or not, and sometimes I can manage a sort of fail charge with my index and middle fingers.
(G)1 is the only person I've ever met with green, green, greeeeen eyes. He has those eyes that sort of change color depending on what he wears, and lashes that I'm jealous of. Our friendship almost disappeared when I become really close with (G)6, 7, but it's now back and stronger than ever. I laugh at his jokes, and in return I get to poke at his ego. Funfunfun =) I think I may come to like like him again in time ... we'll see ;)
Heyyy guess what? One of my poems is going to be published in an anthropology! Yay for poetry contests, and the nights spent trying to come up with decent poems (the one that I ended up submitting and is getting published was one I wrote in slightly under an hour, go figure -.-')!
A new favourite thing of mine? Sleepovers with (F)10, my cousin and one of my best buddies =) Sleepovers with her are always guaranteed to be fun and gossip-filled (I'm a big fan of telling her stories about people from my old school), but due to exams/summatives we've skipped a couple T.T
As for "re-inventing" myself at a new school, I think I've done it decently. I've gotten rid of my old reputation of being rather demanding, hostile, and unapproachable (at least, I think), gotten rid of my status as "that girl who might be talked into doing your homework for you", and become a nicer person.
Social status, I'm still hanging out more at the fringe than at the center, I'm friends with people from all circles, but mostly I stick to the non-overachieving asian giftie circle ^^
Lately, I've been sleeping less and thinking more. I'm not sure if this is good or not ...
Let's introduce someone new, (G)3 (conveniently (G)1's best friend). He's a hottie - and gifted, too. I liked him very briefly at the beginning of the school year, but I never really got to know him that well. Right before the Christmas break, news got out that (F)2 liked someone! I guessed pretty quickly who it was (yupp, (G)3) and pretty soon (though details are a bit muddied), pretty everyone that (F)2 interacted with daily and willfully knew who she liked, except for (G)3 (I think he didn't pry simply because he was afraid it was him). Then the last day of school before break passed without any incidents, and (F)2 let out a big breath, only to find out that (F)11, a good friend of (G)3's from before, had had a gettogether that night and had told him that (F)2 liked him (apparently he has an adorable blush, btw). Luckily for both of them, winter break was here and by the time we got back, most people had forgotten about the excitment. She still likes him though, and since I was one of the very few that cared enough to keep on bugging her about him, she stalks (lightly, of course (noooo sarcasm there)) him with my help. Since I've started this "research", I've come to think that he's someone else I may come to like - but for now, he's all hers.
I've also built up a reputation as a good "researcher". XD
Just something to think about tonight before you go to sleep:
"Stand up for what you believe in, even if you stand alone."
But if you're standing alone, then maybe you should reconsider why you believe only you are right.
xoxo,
burningdarkfire
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)