Guys will be Guys

OK, I'm currently on UPSB, and I have realized I completely fail at pen spinning. My life is incomplete ... or rather, I'm lacking one. Anyway ...

These days, my main source of entertainment comes from, directly and indirectly, guys. I've got crushes on three (and yes, they are ordered) and it's bugging me that guys are such guys. Go awaaaaaaay -.-

On the bright side, it's nice to move to a new school, where no one knows you, and be able to recreate yourself. Not to mention, I'm barely even considered smart now. And yes, that's a good thing.

I'm too distracted by pen-spinning to continue ... heading off to use the full extent of my mental powers to make this pen cooperate.

xoxo
burningdarkfire

Take The Trail More Traveled

I've decided to take the easier road, where I can lie less and obsess (yes, obsess) more.

So now, I "officially" like (G)2.

And unfortunately, I'm way too hyper to write coherently, so I'll have to come back to this sometime.

Off to shower, text, write, and sleep.

xoxo
burningdarkfire

Dedication, Love, and Confusion?

As I'm sure you've figured out, I'm a very dedicated, persistent person. As I'm sure you've also figured out, I'm a big fan of sarcasm (and for the record, I CAN be dedicated and persistent ... I just need a good reason).

So I thought it over, and realized it would be beyond pointless to use this blog like a diary. So why not just use it for those rants that I can't use on anyone? Only one person has this site's address, and well ... I did give it to her.

Just wanted to say ... completely over (G)1.

Also, someone has recently re-entered my life. (G)2 and I were never super close friends, but since he got a cellphone we've been texting a lot, and he referred to us as best friends. I don't know what to say to that ... I just responded in kind, but it's not quite the truth. Also, he is a huge fan of saying "ilu." It's incredibly sweet and all that, but it also gets awkward sometimes. Once again, I always respond in kind, but it's definitely not the truth.

The thing is, he's made me think a lot. If I may say so, he has fantasies about love and claims to have fallen in love already, and more than once he's mourned the fact he hasn't been able to hold a steady relationship for long.

Let me just say this: personally, I don't really believe in love. Sometimes, I look around at the older couples and think, that has to be love. Then I look at the statistics of divorces, look at everyday life, look at the boys around me. Then I think, no way does love actually exist. Maybe lust, maybe physical desires, maybe even mental connections. Love? No thanks. If it is out there, and if it does find me ... I have no plans to get married or have kids until I have a steady career, if ever.

Back to (G)2, let's just say I don't believe we're at the age that we should be looking for love, or even expecting long-term relationships. We almost got into a fight over it, then the next morning, he texted me saying, "good morning :) ilu." It's hard to resist his sweetness sometimes. We talk on the phone often now, and I look forward to hearing from him.

This week, he's on vacation and his cell isn't with him, which mean I haven't been able to talk to him at all. The thing is, I've been thinking about him a lot, and I don't know why. I told him before, when we were discussing how "dateable" he was, that I would date him if he asked me, and it's true. The thing is, I don't "like" him that way ... but I don't just simply like him as a friend either. So basically, I'm very confused.

Off to catch some zzz's, and hopefully get more stories written tonight.

xoxo
burningdarkfire

The Intro

So. This will be a basic, no pressure simple anonymous blog. You do not need to know who I am, or who the people I'm talking about are. This is for me, myself and I.
I'll give everyone I talk about codenames, something simple like (M)1 and (F)2.
Basic summary of life this school year:
- when I arrived, I knew only one girl, let's call her (F)1.
- I met (F)1's friends, (F)2 and (F)3, whom take the same bus as me.
- I spent several days eating lunch and hanging out with (F)1,2,3 and their friends in the grade above us
- Introducing: (G)1, (F)4 and (F)5. All in my science class. All now my friends.
- Introducing: (F)6,7,8,9. All in my gym, or close to those in my gym class. All now my friends.
- Increasing dislike of (F)1,2,3 resulting in distancing and becoming closer to all other mentioned peoples.
- Infatuation with (G)1. Yes, I can admit it. (F)4 has the same crush, bonding through guys!
- In first piece of drama, (G)1 finds out we like him.
- Um ... and now we're all friends and happy =)

xoxo
burningdarkfire

PS I think I'll start writing with much more detail ... tomorrow.

First Post!

Hmmm. Maybe I should start using this daily?
I think I may be too lazy. But I suppose this will be a good stress reliever, so why not?

xoxo
burningdarkfire